The 10 Most Formulaic Games of 2009

In recent years, the video game industry has leapt forward as quickly as a frog with a jetpack. As new, ground-breaking advancements like Project Natal and the Sony motion controller wait on the horizon, a steady string of incredible fall releases have been pushing our current-gen consoles to their limit. Unfortunately, not every game harbors such aspirations, instead choosing to follow a safer path that sacrifices originality and uniqueness for familiarity and tried-and-true mechanics. Below are my picks for the ten most formulaic games of 2009, titles that stuck so closely and stubbornly with what has worked in the past that they barely justified their place on the new release shelf.

Modern Warfare 2

Infinity Ward’s latest blockbuster features enough energizing sequences to power a time machine, but it feels more like a theme park ride than an interactive experience. Sure, helicopters are falling out of the sky, airports are being terrorized, and national monuments are being destroyed, but the core gameplay is still the same as was in the last six Call of Dutys: duck behind cover, fire a few shots, then run to the next piece of cover.  While it’s hard to fault them for sticking with what works, a little advancement in lieu of the “bigger, better, and more badass” approach should be expected from those who are on top.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2

The original MUA was a spirited romp through a colorful world of spiders, spandex, and super powers. It was a solid adventure, one that allowed up to four players to pick their favorite Marvel heroes and battle through arctic dangers, alternate dimensions, and underwater palaces. Unfortunately, the recently released sequel vanquished the story, variety, and depth of the original, leaving nothing more than a bunch of silly goons in S&M outfits beating the hell out of each other.

Wolfenstein

The Wolfenstein series began a year before this writer was born, and moved to the forefront of the first-person fray in 1992 with Wolfenstein 3D. While the latest entry attempted to spice things up with open world environments and a World War II Proton Pack, the end result was a mindless shooter that, while entertaining, did nothing to further cement the legacy of this once-mighty franchise. A game that falls back on its old ways should at least include Mecha-Hitler.

The Sims 3

The Sims series is the best-selling PC franchise of all time, handily outselling major blockbusters like World of Warcraft, Half-Life, and Grand Theft Auto while keeping people entertained for nearly a decade. What other game lets you build a house, start a family, and then subsequently remove all of the bathrooms to watch your mini-people squirm and shake as nature takes its course? Despite its past success, The Sims 3’s June release went mostly unnoticed, as the minor gameplay improvements didn’t hide the fact that everything felt a whole lot like The Sims 2. Not being able to import your families, goods, and expansions from previous games probably didn’t help things either.

The Godfather II

And another thing, EA: when basing a video game around one of the most beloved movies of all time, watch it first. The Godfather II might whet your whistle if you’re dying to play GTA: Cuba, but its tired open-world structure, repetitive mission design, and complete lack of anything recognizable from the film will break your heart, Fredo-style.

Killzone 2

While Killzone 2’s visuals will melt your eyes with their splendor, the actual gameplay of Sony’s first-person fragfest leaves a lot to be desired. The campaign is short, lacks any truly memorable moments, only includes a handful of different enemy types, and–worst of all—never translates the much talked about ‘massive global conflict’ into a playable reality. Nearly every fight takes place in a claustrophobic hallway, alleyway, or corridor, making the world feel more like an elaborate shooting gallery than a war-torn planet. At least it has looks.

Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Winter Games

Another Wii minigame collection? While I love the idea of pitting gaming’s two biggest mascots against each other to reignite their 16-bit rivalry, the ‘waggle, shake, spin’ minigames feel like they were pulled from the Wii launch lineup. It also doesn’t help that Sega is really scraping the bottom of the barrel with their character roster. Vector the Crocodile and Silver the Hedgehog? Seriously?

The Conduit

Developer High Voltage Software was dead set on bringing a graphically impressive, highly competitive first-person shooter to Nintendo’s motion-controlled wonder, and they did! Too bad that the generic ‘humans vs. aliens’ plotline, mundane weapons, and loose controls kept this “me too” blast-em-up from becoming the Wii’s answer to Halo.

Lego Indiana Jones 2 / Lego Rock Band

What was once a cute, playful mashup of childhood favorites has quickly become a depressing reminder that everything gets old. While the cheerful mood, colorful graphics, and memorable movie moments can still be entertaining in block form, the never-changing gameplay and choice of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Rock Band as Lego subjects over more suitable franchises like Transformers and Kill Bill (a boy can dream, can’t he?) has removed most of the magic from this formerly exciting fantasy.

Guitar Hero / Band Hero / DJ Hero

Does anything even need to be said at this point? Despite the previously in-demand plastic instruments being mostly relegated to bargain bins in recent months, Activision still managed to crank out nine different Hero titles in 2009, and has already announced plans for several 2010 sequels. Quitting while ahead doesn’t seem to be a part of their plan, so expect this zombified corpse of a series to live on until Guitar Hero: Hasselhoff hits store shelves in 2019.

Joe DeLia is a freelance writer based out of New York. He can be heard each week on the Big Red Potion podcast.