Dingoo A330: The PSP Knock-Off that Plays Emulators

“Johnson, we need a new strategy for our handheld classic video game emulators. The Dingoo A320 emulator never really took hold in the marketplace (see below), and it clearly had nothing to do with our company being named ‘Dingoo’ or our products being available only through Chinese retail and wholesalers such as Etronixmart. How will we save the Dingoo A330 Mini Game King emulator from the same obscurity as last year’s model?”

“I hear you loud and clear, sir. What we really need is a model that looks exactly like Sony’s PSP.”

“The PSP?”

“Of course! That handheld is fading from relevance as well. And the people that do own PSPs are loading them up with pirated content all the time. Who will be able to tell the difference?”

“But is it really a good idea to shamelessly rip off a major console maker?”

“Look, sir, we’re already pissing everyone off by providing on-the-road access to Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Genesis, Game Boy Advance, Lynx and Neo Geo ROMs. Why not go the extra mile? Besides, ThinkGeek already offers a pocket game emulator for the same $100 as we will with the A330. Cloning the PSP is our best — or perhaps our only — option. That’s why I’ve already taken the liberty of having the A330 designed and produced. It’s ready to sell right now!”

“You’ve convinced me, Johnson. Call Etronixmart and tell them to stock the A330 immediately!”

“On it like a fly on poo … sir.”

Update: Dingoo says the A330, as it appears here, is a fraud (not just of the PSP, but of the Dingoo brand as well). There’s no sense in trying to work that into whatever ridiculous narrative I wrote up there, so here’s your clarification for the record.